If Your Outside Self Is Broken…Read This!

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This week’s challenge is my self-image.

I thought I had a healthy amount of self-esteem.

And when I say healthy I mean normal.

And when I say normal I mean I probably struggle on and off as much as yourself or any other woman.

Sometimes more, sometimes less.

Did you know that your hair is a symbol of pride? Well it is. And my pride has been challenged, wobbled, knocked over.

My hair has been destroyed.

Years ago I worked for a women’s residential project that helped them overcome life controlling issues such as self-harm, eating disorders, effects of abuse to name but a few. One day the wonderful ladies decided to challenge themselves. We had to think of something that would challenge our self-esteem and go out like that. So one lady hated herself in glasses, another hated wearing a certain style of clothing. It was different for us all.

But I couldn’t think of anything.

I told them that I was fairly happy with my body image and I couldn’t think of anything that would challenge me.

(Slight pause to laugh my head of!!!!!!)

One of the ladies said, “Go out with-out drying your hair.”

I actually thought my breath had been stolen, I gasped. That was it! There was no way on God’s green earth I wanted to do that. But I did. I hated it. It challenged me.

We all lived.

This time I’ve had my hair dyed and it’s been left on for too long and the condition is terrible. It feels awful and looks awful. I’m gutted.

A friend recently said, “Go out with-out drying your hair.”

Oh my goodness, where is the air, gasp!!

I’m back to that place.

What’s your thing?

What is it that’s wobbling your self-esteem, making you feel unattractive, less of a woman, insecure, it’s attacking your pride, it’s stopping you from moving forward?

For many it will be your weight. Maybe you hate your fat thighs. Or you’ve put on a tonne of weight and it’s everywhere.

For others it will be a particular body part that only surgery will fix. A bulging tummy, cankles, cellulite, wrinkles.

It’s not who you are is it?

You have an ideal version of yourself in your head of how you want to look. Actually get that image in your head. How do you want to look?

Hold that thought to one side.

Now think of the thing you want to do. Starting your own business, changing your career, being successful at a new hobby. Being the best mum you can be. Whatever it is think about it.

Hold both thoughts together.

They don’t really fit do they? The thing you want to do isn’t going to happen any faster if you looked the way you wanted to. The thought is a nuisance that’s like a fly and needs swatting.

Get away.

Some of you are saying that if you lost weight (or whatever) then you’d be more confident to do the thing you want to do.

Good point, but stop kidding yourself. There’s always going to be an excuse.

You just need to make a decision to do the thing you want to do and don’t let anything get in your way.

I am gutted about my hair. I hate seeing myself if I don’t like my hair. I feel embarrassed.

But…I’m moving. I’ll make a decision to chop it off or live with it and then I’m off.  I’ll continue on my journey.

And I’ll keep trying to love all those things I don’t like about my outside self.

If you need some support with your ‘stuff’ email me at contact@nicolahughes.co.uk and claim your free life coachig session

Then join me at www.facebook.com/nicolahughescoaching

I’d love to hear from you.

Love Nicola

PS. If you know some fabulous women (well of course you do), please feel free to share this with them



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