All Self Care Advice is Crap!

Daily Quotes

 

Apart from this, this is golden!

 

Seriously it’s gonna take a lot more than a hot bath and a walk to fix my monumental mess.

 

Do you feel you’re heading down a slippery slope but feel helpless to stop yourself?

 

Are you usually pretty resilient but this time somethings got the better of you?

 

Do you get a bit sick of self-help advice because whoever writes it must be a hermit who doesn’t have two kids a dog and a tonne of responsibility?

 

Keep reading because I am on your side.

 

It’s not that you don’t think a bit of mindfulness would be wonderful it’s just not possible and I know you aren’t making excuses, your life is a total balancing act and you’ve got a wobble on.

 

Even though you know a hot bath would be nice or 15 minutes to read a magazine would be luxury and a pub lunch alone with your partner is essential for harmony. The reality is the bath always has kids in it. There are no magazines because what’s the point of buying one, and a pub lunch!! Are you kidding? No baby sitter.

 

What are we exhausted, yet supposedly empowered women meant to do?

 

Self-care advice suggests you say NO

 

I’ve looked at my diary and tried to say no to things. I can’t delay the biggest pickles start at pre-school. I can’t cancel the smallest pickles birthday party. Could possibly cancel friends coming over for lunch but I don’t want to so I buy a massive lasagne and deal with the guilt of not providing a nourishing home cooked meal instead.

 

Self-care advice suggests look after yourself

 

I go to bed early but get woken up several times and wonder if I should just give up sleep altogether. I take vitamins. Have a good moan and a cry. Try to eat healthy but that involves more preparation. So spend time wondering whether I should eat healthily and use up energy preparing healthy food or buy pizza and feel rested but bloated and skint. Hubby intervenes and buys fish and chips and says fish oil is good. Good call hubby!

 

Self-care advice suggests yoga

 

Err no! I can’t do a keep fit class or go to anything else either. Nothing against them but I am rarely free from the pickles or I’m at work.

 

Then I had a revelation that helped me much more than any self-care advice ever has!

 

The Comfort Zone

 

I learnt about comfort zones, stretch zones and panic zones. The tasks in comfort zones feel safe, it’s easy and familiar. In the stretch zone it’s a challenge, you might feel a little panic, a few butterflies and some stress. And tasks in the panic zone you probably shouldn’t be doing because you feel extreme panic and stress just thinking of it.

 

As a passionate life coach I’d usually be talking about getting out of your comfort zone and developing yourself but not today.

 

Not when you are tired.

 

I realised that most of my day operated in the stretch zone. Even putting a load of washing in the machine was like the rat run trying to avoid being grabbed by small hands and moaned at.

 

I’m not sure about you but I can’t avoid my stretch zone, it’s good to have stretches and in theory when you’ve done it a few times it graduates to the comfort zone.

 

This is not true for the tasks that involve my little pickles, they are so unpredictable (and gorgeous) that they always add this unknown entity to life. I wouldn’t be without it but I have to admit I like to know what’s going on so I find it a stretch and I think it always will be.

 

It would be really easy to feel inadequate because I can’t handle the stretch of these simple parenting tasks. But that’s who I am.

 

My advice…I hope you don’t think its crap!

 

Nicola’s Self-care suggests: know your comfy place.

It might be that staying on the sofa all evening once the kids have gone to bed is your only comfort zone event of the day.

 

Or an hour to check your virtual world makes you feel safe.

 

Or eating a big piece of chocolate restores all the wrong in a day.

 

When I realised I needed to do these things instead of get my sorry butt to Pilates (a stretch zone for me – no pun intended). It was like I gave myself a huge permission, like a get out of PE letter from my mum!

 

Instead I looked at how I got comfort and where I felt safe.

 

If I’m not stressed and life is balanced then I’ll stretch myself some more because I’ve got a lot of things I want to achieve and sitting on the sofa isn’t going to get me very far.

 

But I really need to recognise those times and seasons and so do you.

Give yourself a get out of PE note and do what you need to do to recover from this season, because it is only a season.

All will be restored soon and you can carry on with your mission.

If you know your life needs some adjustment or you feel out of balance contact me as I’d love to offer you a free session to see if coaching is the right fit for you.

Email me at contact@nicolahughes.co.uk

And join me on www.facebook.com/nicolahughescoaching

Lots of warmth to you, Nicola x x

Also featured on www.lorifitzgerald.co.uk

Return to Work? No You Can’t

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Are you struggling to get your head round ‘returning’ to work? Leaving Maternity Leave behind you and resuming work life where you left off?

Are you wondering what it will be like to go back to the office and do the job you did if you can remember how the heck to do it?

Not to mention all the stress concerned with sorting out child care and organising the life that exists around work.

In a minute I’m going to tell you why it’s impossible to return to work.

I’m going to tell you why you can’t go back.

Before I do, please have a think. Recall a work item, something that you only use at work. It could be your ID badge, a bag you only use for work. Your suit or uniform. Get it in your head. Actually locate it if you have time and look at it.

Remember what it was like to use that item and be that person. Imagine where you sat and what you did, who you talked to. Some of the language you used and how you felt at work.

Now look at an item in your home that you’ve only needed since you had a baby. It could be a high chair, a muslin, a bottle of Calms!!!. Think about times you have used this item and how those occasions make you feel.

Depending on your job it’s probably worlds apart. You have a different life to the one you had when you were working. Even if you had a good work life balance. Chances are you’ve had to mute your hobbies for a while and life looks very different from how it did.

How long have you been off for? 6-12 months? 5 years? Whatever the answer time has passed. Whatever you have left will not be the same. Clients will have changed, staff will have changed, furniture will have moved. Systems will be different.

Returning to work makes it sound like you are going back to exactly what you left. But you can’t. You’ve changed and work has changed while you have been gone. There is no return.

You cannot return to work.

You can STEP INTO WORK.

Think of an escalator, it doesn’t stop moving so you can get on. You have to step onto it while it is moving, you get a bit of a jolt but then you move at the same pace

Just like work. It’s not going to stop, you are not joining at the same place you left, it has moved, you have moved.

There’s going to be a jolt.

Are you ready for the jolt?

Over the next few weeks I will be running a fabulous FREE workshop called “Finding Your Feet as You Step in to Work”.

Its aim is to help you with the jolt as you step in to work, raise your confidence and give you yummy cake and a FREE goody bag.

See www.facebook.com/nicolahughescoaching for more information on how to book your place, there are a few places left but be quick.

And if that wasn’t enough all of you that attend will have the opportunity to sign up to my FREE eBook with 6 Simple Steps to get you work ready and to minimise that jolt.

So what are you waiting for?

You can’t return to work but you can step into it. The great thing is you don’t have to look back. You can be the new you and step into a great life, different from before, different from now but great.

Looking forward to seeing you at the workshop

Love Nicola x x

Love Nicola x x

Nailed It

Nailed It.

Nailed it

Have you seen those funny photos of people’s creations where they’ve tried to copy something from Pinterest but failed on a major level? The text underneath reads,

“Nailed It”

They make me laugh so much.

Mainly because I have been in that place.

I made Play Doh the other day, the example was glossy and brightly coloured. I thought how hard can this be? Clearly very! It looked awful and I couldn’t get the colour to run through it.

I also made some banana muffins and they looked no-where near as full and plump as the ones in the picture.

I’m now very wary.

I really want to draw on mugs with sharpie pens, the pictures look great. However, I’ve read a few feedback posts that say it doesn’t work and fades after one wash.

Quite frankly I’m not wasting my time on something that’s not going to work.

I wonder if that’s how you feel about Life Coaching with me, or with anyone?

There’s lots of people out there making claims to change your life, making you fab offers and sending you lots of free stuff. It can be really confusing.

You usually then discover they want a tiny fortune off you.

It’s really hard to know whether you’ll get what’s so beautifully portrayed in the picture.

When you work with a life coach or counsellor or mentor you are giving a little of yourself to someone for a time. It’s personal, you don’t want to do that with just anyone.

So why should you choose me?

I am Nicola Hughes before I am anyone else. Born in the North West of England. I am a wife and a Mum to two little pickles who are 1 and 3. I work part time and I run my own business.

Sometimes I feel full of life and enjoy seeing my pickles do the amazing things they do. On other days (which is the majority) I struggle with all the things you do:

Am I a good enough parent?

Why are they doing my head in?

How will I get all of this done?

Who am I?

Work with me because I am a real person, I’m living the everyday struggles of life. Yet I’ve painted a picture for myself and I’m making it happen.

I can help you because I have been helped

I can help you because I am qualified and skilled

I can help you because I am real

I know you don’t want to waste your time (or money) on something that isn’t going to work.

I know you are concerned whether you will ‘Nail It’ or not.

The difference is you get to paint the picture, not me!

I support you to paint your picture

Then..

I watch you nail it!

If something in here resonates with you, if you are a little intrigued then contact me.

I offer everyone a FREE introductory session.

This is so you can hear my voice, see if you like working with me, like my style and ask any questions.

There is no obligation. I promise that.

Email me at contact@nicolahughes.co.uk and we’ll set up a time that’s convenient.

Please share this with your lovely friends as they might be interested in painting a different life for themselves.

Then join me at www.facebook.com/nicolahughescoaching so you can keep up with what’s going on and be inspired.

Looking forward to hearing from you

Nicola x x