New Year, New You?…..Nah!

The Best way to be you

Do you feel bombarded with adverts asking you to become the new you?

Do you feel guilty thinking you must make some new year’s resolutions but wonder what the point is as you know they won’t last long?

Do you know something needs to change but don’t know what?

New Year is a great time of year for Coaches, Fitness Instructors, diet gurus and the like to jump on the bandwagon that a New Year marks a New Start.

It annoys me actually. Really really annoys me if I think about it too much.

Give up smoking.  Lose weight. Start a fitness regime. Not bad suggestions really.

But selling you a new YOU like you are an old car and need replacing is, in my books NOT on!

Do you remember Trinny and Susannah? The gusty style gurus. Never once did they tell anyone to lose weight or run more. They worked with what they had and made massive differences to people’s confidence.

They would grab a fat bulgy behind of some poor woman, tell her she was fabulous and choose a pair of trousers that showed off this fabulous feature. All the while this woman had been hiding in baggy jumpers as she was so embarrassed and probably tried every diet under the sun.

She didn’t have to change.

She was believed in and nurtured and she grew in confidence. (She also had two brash women grab her behind)

She found her best way to be herself.

I’m not sure where the story ends but my fantasy is that she had the confidence to go for her dream job or call the guy she’d been secretly admiring.

I want this for you. I know you are flawed. I know there are things about yourself you don’t like, things you do, attitudes you have, hobbies you should start, practices you should take up.

I’m not inviting you to transform yourself and become this new you in 6 easy steps.

I’m inviting you to be the same you (because you really are marvellous) but more defined.

We get so obsessed about being thinner, or funnier or well thinner. I always want to be thinner, not a size 6 thin but thinner. Then one day I had this revelation that the scales didn’t predict my future. I could be all the things I wanted to be and achieve all the amazing things I wanted to do regardless of my size. (I don’t want to be a Britain’s Next Top Model by the way– which is just as well)

I need two things:

Confidence in myself & Belief in myself

So my invitation to you is this;

Do you want me to help you FIND YOUR BEST WAY TO BE YOURSELF?

I know you are frustrated, I know you don’t always know what this frustration is about, I know you are not sure what you would say to me or where to start.

But I know these three things.

  1. I know how to connect with you
  2. I know how to bring out the BEST in you that is hiding or hasn’t been discovered yet
  3. I know you can live the more fulfilling life you dream of.

Will you walk with me?

Will you talk to me?

Email me at contact@nicolahughes.co.uk and we will arrange your FREE Coaching Session. There is no hard sell, just a simple explanation of what I offer and the rest is over to you so you can try me out.

I have limited spaces so book in early to avoid disappointment.

I can’t wait to hear from you.

New Year New You? Nah

You are already fabulous you just need to FIND YOUR BEST WAY TO BE YOURSELF

Lots of love,

Nicola x x

The Balancing Act

The Balancing Act

 

I’ve heard people say that they are doing THIS for their children.

I’ve heard people say that they’ve made massive sacrifices to their life for their dream.

I’ve heard people say it’s all hard graft to get the money and the life they really want.

 

There’s something about these statements that make me feel very uncomfortable. Maybe I’ve got a lot to learn (I definitely have a lot to learn) and maybe I’m going to have some difficult decisions to make along the way. But I don’t think The Dream has to be that hard.

 

The Dream can be anything. It can be a complete change of life or it can quite simply being able to find time to learn a new hobby or skill and make time for yourself each week.

 

I’m going to look at this from a few different perspectives

 

Sacrifice

 

This is where my argument falls down a bit because I have made a few sacrifices:

 

  • I have attended weekend training courses and missed out on family time
  • I have spent my evenings developing Nicola Hughes the business, missing out on…err TV!!
  • I have spent my birthday money on branding and other bits of cash on the business

 

I don’t really see any of that as a major sacrifice apart from the fact that I missed the children but we all had a fabulous time, we just weren’t together. 4 days, 2 weekends is fine in my book. It might not be okay in your book but that’s fine because it’s your dream and you set the rules.

 

I’m not afraid to bust a gut to train for a 10k. I’m happy to sacrifice eating horrendously gorgeous food to watch my waist line for a bit. I’m happy to sacrifice. BUT, I’m not going to disappear from my children’s life to tap tap at my laptop and say I’m doing this for them!

 

What’s hard?

 

None of it really. When I read Entrepreneurial Revolution by Daniel Priestley he said that lots of people living their dream never retire because they love what they do, it isn’t work. Some nights I’ve gone to bed really late because I’ve been ‘working’ on new material and I’ve been so buzzed up and happy, impressed with myself, energised, and excited because it’s not hard work it’s The Dream coming nearer and nearer. And I love it. I might have to make decisions that feel difficult and have barriers I have to overcome and work out how the heck Mailchimp works but it’s just small parts of the overall Dream.

 

Balance

 

This bit is hard for me. It is so important for me to have balance in my life, and I harp on about this a lot. I cannot be a full time anything. I need balance. I need to spend quality time with my children, I need to do something just for me, I need family time, TV time, chocolate time, days out, days in, cooking, organising…. The list goes on. So I cannot and will not commit full time to anything in particular The Dream because I need balance.

 

If you have not noticed it is December. December is synonymous with trees, decoration, mince pies, Christmas cards, presents, advent calendar and preparing cool advent task things to keep up with all the other amazing mums, Christmas parties, jumpers, craft fair, visits to several Santa’s…. Not really much room for planning The Dream.

 

It hit me one Sunday evening. I had a list of thigs I had to do and I realised I had not prepared the advent activities I wanted to do for my pickles.  I did it so fast that I gave myself stomach ache and I didn’t enjoy it at all.

 

I had to think.

 

I thought about all the Christmas tasks I wanted to do and enjoy with the children or with my hubby. And as I was thinking about it I was wondering how fast I could get them done so I could then get the lap top out and write some content for The Dream that’s when it struck me.

 

I will NOT say I’m doing this for the kids if it means missing out on watching them put up the Christmas tree.

I will NOT make massive sacrifices if it involves the kids missing out on me being part of a whole season of life

If The Dream becomes all about graft and hard work then it’s not what it was meant to be and it needs to stop.

 

My children don’t actually care about The Dream, they want to be loved by a happy healthy mummy and daddy. And we are happy and healthy when we have balance in our lives.

 

I did consider giving The Dream up over the Christmas period because I felt such a strong pull to enjoy every Christmas moment with the children and make memories. They are 1 and 3. They will never be 1 and 3 again. Next year they will be 2 and 4, then 3 and 5. I never get this time back ever again. But I’m driven and excited and can’t stop The Dream from existing it calls me and I cannot shut it up.

 

So a memo to you both,

 

Hello December, meet The Dream!

I know you are in competition with each other for my attention but I love you both. I will not choose between the two of you. You will have to learn to get on with each other.  I will enjoy every Christmas moment and if The Dream would like to join us and inspire us while we are having fun then you are most welcome. But if you come and try and laden me with guilt then I shut the door on you because my family time is precious.

December, if I’m planning my next move or writing a blog feel free to sing Christmas songs while I work or feed me lovely mince pies to give me energy but do not come with your guilt trying to steal me away from something that is mine, that I own that I’m proud of.  Because I need this time.

December you are my seasonal joy. The Dream you are my inspiration. So let the party begin. X x

 

What’s Your Dream?

 

When you were reading this did something resonate with you? The desire to have balance, the pull between the children and something else, wondering how they can all work together.

 

I have a really awesome way of helping you get a birds’ eye perspective of your life and pin pointing which bit is out of balance.

 

That sounds pretty good right?

 

If you email me at contact@nicolahughes.co.uk  we can arrange a FREE coaching session and I will help you work it out.

 

Meanwhile, I’m sooooo curious to know what Your Dream is.  Nothing is too bonkers or too mundane for me. Come and visit me at www.fb.com/nicolahughescoaching and tell me what Your Dream is.

 

You know your friends? I reckon they have Dreams too, it’s just you never get to talk about it because you’re so busy with work or the kids. Please pass this onto them, it might be the life line they need to get them started.

 

Thanks for reading

 

Love  Nicola x x

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Jolt When you Step Back into Work

The JoltWhen you Step into work

In my Blog “Return to work – No you can’t.” https://nicolahughescoaching.wordpress.com/2015/11/15/return-to-work-no-you-cant/

I describe stepping into work like stepping onto an elevator. It doesn’t stop, it keeps moving just like your job has while you’ve been away. And when you have stepped on you got a jolt as you readjust.

The jolt onto an elevator is small.

You might not even notice it.

This Blog is about my Jolt as I step back into work.

IT IS NOT A SMALL JOLT!!

It’s a great big ruddy jolt that’s left me shouting, “Who took my life, I’ll have it back now please!!”

Ok, I’ll stop being a drama queen.

But here is a little context. I am writing this after day two at work. I work two days a week. I have two children. The childcare is a mix of grandma, childminder and preschool. We had a horrible double dose of chicken pox the week before and some family issues that wiped me out.

And hello work.

I loved being at work. I talked to adults without interruption from small people, I made a cuppa when I wanted and drank it before it went cold, I only had to feed myself at lunch time and no one followed me to the toilet and shouted, “Don’t make a loud noise mummy!” (The biggest pickle says this when we are in public toilets and he’s referring to the hand dryer that he’s scared to death of BUT he always says it when I’m sat on the public toilet and not when I’m washing my hands which in my mind would be a much more appropriate time to make his request! Ruddy kids!)

I still feel a little wobbly about the actual job I am doing and I wonder if I can remember how to do it. Plus the system has dramatically changed and I know I’m going to get frustrated with that. But I have an inner peace and good support at work and I know it will be fine.

What could possibly go wrong?

I thought the jolt I would experience was stepping through the office door. No, that was fun. The jolt was stepping in my front door when I got back. I had been gone all day. I didn’t know what had gone on, who needed what. It felt like trying to jump onto a very fast moving train. In truth it probably looked like any usual evening in the Hughes residence. But I didn’t know what to do?

I felt surplus – no one needed me

I felt guilty – I didn’t know what my children needed

I felt jealous – Someone else knew what they wanted

I felt trapped – I didn’t know how to make it right or at least workable.

I felt hungry – I didn’t know when I was going to eat my tea

I did what any self-respecting woman on a mission to be more fulfilled would do.

I planned my escape!!

I thought I’d get a new job and work 12 hours straight so I could avoid all of this. I thought I could change my childcare arrangements, I could quit my job and eat beans on toast for life.

Then, (a few days later)

I realised that I hadn’t given much thought to anyone else. So I asked and I kept asking.

I strongly but kindly said I wasn’t okay with some things. I set boundaries.

I offered possibilities. I was flexible.

We stated the obvious. We all need feeding.

We allocated jobs.

We renegotiated.

We said we would keep trying.

I enter Week 2 of work much happier.

So what is your Jolt? Are you living it right now? Or are you waiting and dreading and guessing what it will be?

Whatever it is and however you are feeling if you need help I know I can help you.

You don’t need to dread it. Just imagine how much easier it will be to have someone who understands walking along side you through it.

And if you’re living the jolt right now and can’t see a way out. There will be.

Whatever the situation you are in, if you can’t see the wood for the trees and want some help getting out or to find a new perspective get in touch with me at Contact@nicolahughes.co.uk and we can arrange a

FREE introductory Coaching Session for you.

When you have done that get on Facebook and like my page www.fb.com/nicolahughescoaching so you can keep up to date with my musings and information.

Lots of love to you

Nicola x