I’ve heard people say that they are doing THIS for their children.
I’ve heard people say that they’ve made massive sacrifices to their life for their dream.
I’ve heard people say it’s all hard graft to get the money and the life they really want.
There’s something about these statements that make me feel very uncomfortable. Maybe I’ve got a lot to learn (I definitely have a lot to learn) and maybe I’m going to have some difficult decisions to make along the way. But I don’t think The Dream has to be that hard.
The Dream can be anything. It can be a complete change of life or it can quite simply being able to find time to learn a new hobby or skill and make time for yourself each week.
I’m going to look at this from a few different perspectives
This is where my argument falls down a bit because I have made a few sacrifices:
- I have attended weekend training courses and missed out on family time
- I have spent my evenings developing Nicola Hughes the business, missing out on…err TV!!
- I have spent my birthday money on branding and other bits of cash on the business
I don’t really see any of that as a major sacrifice apart from the fact that I missed the children but we all had a fabulous time, we just weren’t together. 4 days, 2 weekends is fine in my book. It might not be okay in your book but that’s fine because it’s your dream and you set the rules.
I’m not afraid to bust a gut to train for a 10k. I’m happy to sacrifice eating horrendously gorgeous food to watch my waist line for a bit. I’m happy to sacrifice. BUT, I’m not going to disappear from my children’s life to tap tap at my laptop and say I’m doing this for them!
None of it really. When I read Entrepreneurial Revolution by Daniel Priestley he said that lots of people living their dream never retire because they love what they do, it isn’t work. Some nights I’ve gone to bed really late because I’ve been ‘working’ on new material and I’ve been so buzzed up and happy, impressed with myself, energised, and excited because it’s not hard work it’s The Dream coming nearer and nearer. And I love it. I might have to make decisions that feel difficult and have barriers I have to overcome and work out how the heck Mailchimp works but it’s just small parts of the overall Dream.
This bit is hard for me. It is so important for me to have balance in my life, and I harp on about this a lot. I cannot be a full time anything. I need balance. I need to spend quality time with my children, I need to do something just for me, I need family time, TV time, chocolate time, days out, days in, cooking, organising…. The list goes on. So I cannot and will not commit full time to anything in particular The Dream because I need balance.
If you have not noticed it is December. December is synonymous with trees, decoration, mince pies, Christmas cards, presents, advent calendar and preparing cool advent task things to keep up with all the other amazing mums, Christmas parties, jumpers, craft fair, visits to several Santa’s…. Not really much room for planning The Dream.
It hit me one Sunday evening. I had a list of thigs I had to do and I realised I had not prepared the advent activities I wanted to do for my pickles. I did it so fast that I gave myself stomach ache and I didn’t enjoy it at all.
I had to think.
I thought about all the Christmas tasks I wanted to do and enjoy with the children or with my hubby. And as I was thinking about it I was wondering how fast I could get them done so I could then get the lap top out and write some content for The Dream that’s when it struck me.
I will NOT say I’m doing this for the kids if it means missing out on watching them put up the Christmas tree.
I will NOT make massive sacrifices if it involves the kids missing out on me being part of a whole season of life
If The Dream becomes all about graft and hard work then it’s not what it was meant to be and it needs to stop.
My children don’t actually care about The Dream, they want to be loved by a happy healthy mummy and daddy. And we are happy and healthy when we have balance in our lives.
I did consider giving The Dream up over the Christmas period because I felt such a strong pull to enjoy every Christmas moment with the children and make memories. They are 1 and 3. They will never be 1 and 3 again. Next year they will be 2 and 4, then 3 and 5. I never get this time back ever again. But I’m driven and excited and can’t stop The Dream from existing it calls me and I cannot shut it up.
So a memo to you both,
Hello December, meet The Dream!
I know you are in competition with each other for my attention but I love you both. I will not choose between the two of you. You will have to learn to get on with each other. I will enjoy every Christmas moment and if The Dream would like to join us and inspire us while we are having fun then you are most welcome. But if you come and try and laden me with guilt then I shut the door on you because my family time is precious.
December, if I’m planning my next move or writing a blog feel free to sing Christmas songs while I work or feed me lovely mince pies to give me energy but do not come with your guilt trying to steal me away from something that is mine, that I own that I’m proud of. Because I need this time.
December you are my seasonal joy. The Dream you are my inspiration. So let the party begin. X x
What’s Your Dream?
When you were reading this did something resonate with you? The desire to have balance, the pull between the children and something else, wondering how they can all work together.
I have a really awesome way of helping you get a birds’ eye perspective of your life and pin pointing which bit is out of balance.
That sounds pretty good right?
If you email me at firstname.lastname@example.org we can arrange a FREE coaching session and I will help you work it out.
Meanwhile, I’m sooooo curious to know what Your Dream is. Nothing is too bonkers or too mundane for me. Come and visit me at www.fb.com/nicolahughescoaching and tell me what Your Dream is.
You know your friends? I reckon they have Dreams too, it’s just you never get to talk about it because you’re so busy with work or the kids. Please pass this onto them, it might be the life line they need to get them started.
Thanks for reading
Love Nicola x x