When we heard that we got our first choice school our family and friends were delighted.
I was numb.
My reaction, “Great, I can now picture where I’ll be dropping my screaming child off. I hope there’s a nurturing person there that will peel him off me and give him a cuddle.”
Lots of people reassured me and I had the usual comment of “He’ll be fine”. Maybe he will be this time, but maybe he won’t so I’ve been able to think about what I might do if he’s not.
I really thought I would feel better about sending him to school a year later but the reality was I was in a worst position.
I had scars.
The fights you fight for your child leaves scars.
My scars were talking.
My scars were teaching me to be wary, to be defensive, and to be ready for the next fight.
I’d been fighting and defending him for so long that I was constantly ready to attack. When I realised this I decided I needed to get off the battlefield, smell some flowers and look at all that could be.
It was stealing me from the future. School might be a place where:
- My son grows and learns
- His teacher is lovely and likes him
- He makes lifelong friends
- He becomes part of a community where he can make a difference
- He learns things he’s never leant before
- I might make new friends and our family might become part of a new community
He might laugh his head off, run to school, win an award, be part of a sports team or get a part in a school play.
For the last year the school has been the enemy, I’m still not happy with everything. I don’t think early years should have homework, I think they still start school too young but if I am choosing (and it is a choice) to educate my child in the UK under my local education system then they can no longer be my enemy.
I am not saying there won’t be other battles to fight. I am a lioness and I will protect my cubs. But my current attitude is damaging…is damaging me actually.
Just me for now.
Although I am full of dread I am very positive about school to my son but currently my scars are talking. So, it’s time to have a word with them:
A little note to my scars:
Thank you dear scars for fighting, for risking, for going against the flow. You did it out of pure love for your child, a selfless act that other’s rarely understood. You stood tall, risked looking foolish and embraced the repercussions of such a decision. We are beyond grateful for your strength. But it is now time to stand down. Rest yourself, bask in the knowledge that you did it, you won. X x x
Today is a new day.
I choose to be excited.
I also know that on his first day of school I’ll still be in tears but I own them, they are mine and they are about me, his mum losing a little bit more of my baby. There is no other woman in the world that deserves to stand at those gates crying for that boy. That is my role. And I’ll do that with pride.
Over to you!
What dilemmas have you got about your family? Maybe you’ve found me because you too are wondering whether to delay your summer born. Maybe you are thinking about home schooling. Maybe you want to go back to work or just have some more time to yourself.
I can help you.
I am a Coach.
And if you are struggling with this issue or other parenting dilemmas a Clarity Call with me will help you and here’s why:
- As you can see I truly know what it’s like to have parenting dilemmas. My role as a coach is not to tell you how I did it or tell you how you need to do it. But my experiences make my compassion for you strong. I will listen with an open heart. You will be heard.
- I am not connected to your everyday life, although we will become connected. I don’t judge and my only agenda is to provide you with a safe speaking place so you can be empowered to make your own decisions.
- I will be curious about what is going on in your life and help you work out what you need to do and then together we will come up with an action plan.
Can you imagine what it would be like if you had decided what you needed to do AND you had a clear way of making that happen?
Free! Empowered! Excited! Relieved!
If you work with me this is what will happen.
All you need to do is email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to book your Clarity Call.
Thanks for listening to my story, I’m waiting to hear about yours.
Nicola x x
Instagram – @nicolacoaches