Climb from the Bottom

Climb from the bottom

Have got some stuff you need to face up to but keep putting it off.

Are you feeling like a coach potato in some areas of your life but you can’t quite put your finger on what it is.

Love to live life to the full but you’re being held back?

Read on because this concept has really got me thinking and has helped me face up to a few things.

Have you ever watched documentaries that show aerial views of mountains? It’s absolutely incredible, breath taking and overwhelming even.

I wonder if this is how you see your ‘stuff’. So enormous that its breath taking and overwhelming. Maybe it’s so overwhelming that you daren’t look at it fully.

The thought of leaving a job behind that you’ve been in for years, being comfortable, known, knowing what you’re doing. You’re not satisfied but the thought of change overwhelms you.

You daren’t even grasp an aerial view of what it could be like to change jobs.

You know you could sort your finances out but that would involve admitting how much you spend and how much debt you are in. You can’t possibly face it. So you continue to spend and continue to deny there’s a problem.

But the aerial view is incredible. Why would you not allow yourself such pleasure?

The clients I work with are awesome. They come and tell me they are frustrated and want to be more fulfilled. What a great start to admit that something is not quite right. Sometimes they know they have a mountain, other times we work it out together. I help them see the aerial view and what life could be like.

They would tell you they feel all sorts of feelings at this point; overwhelmed, afraid, excited, intimidated, even more frustrated, intrigued, ok, ready…

Then we set some goals. They have worked out what to do, not all the steps are worked out, they might not have even put their shoes on to start but they know.

These people are at the foot of the mountain.

You need to get to the foot of the mountain.

The view is different. You can’t climb a mountain from the aerial view.

You climb from the bottom.

Get to the bottom. Whatever it takes get to the bottom.

I am not a mountain climber in the real sense but I have climbed Snowden when I was 10. I thought it would be like story books standing at the bottom and looking straight up and seeing the peak or maybe a few clouds. The reality on this day was that I saw a road, a rather steep road but a road, not a mountain.

When you get to the bottom

(and I’m not underestimating how hard that can be, it takes some of my clients a good few sessions to work what the mountain is never mind how to get to the bottom)

You won’t look up and see an overwhelming distance, you’ll just see a road you know you need to take.

Don’t put up with these frustrations because you fear the mountain. When you get to the bottom the journey up is an adventure.

When you work with me I am your support act, I prepare you, I walk with you and I take a break with you. I don’t tell you which way to go or how fast to go.

The free Coaching Call that I offer to all new clients is a great way to see if you’d like me on that journey with you.

Email me at contact@nicolahughes.co.uk and we’ll arrange the best time for your FREE coaching call.

Whatever it is we can sort it.

Looking forward to hearing from you

Love Nicola

Ps. Don’t forget to like my Facebook page http://www.fb.com/nicolahughescoaching

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The Jolt When you Step Back into Work

The JoltWhen you Step into work

In my Blog “Return to work – No you can’t.” https://nicolahughescoaching.wordpress.com/2015/11/15/return-to-work-no-you-cant/

I describe stepping into work like stepping onto an elevator. It doesn’t stop, it keeps moving just like your job has while you’ve been away. And when you have stepped on you got a jolt as you readjust.

The jolt onto an elevator is small.

You might not even notice it.

This Blog is about my Jolt as I step back into work.

IT IS NOT A SMALL JOLT!!

It’s a great big ruddy jolt that’s left me shouting, “Who took my life, I’ll have it back now please!!”

Ok, I’ll stop being a drama queen.

But here is a little context. I am writing this after day two at work. I work two days a week. I have two children. The childcare is a mix of grandma, childminder and preschool. We had a horrible double dose of chicken pox the week before and some family issues that wiped me out.

And hello work.

I loved being at work. I talked to adults without interruption from small people, I made a cuppa when I wanted and drank it before it went cold, I only had to feed myself at lunch time and no one followed me to the toilet and shouted, “Don’t make a loud noise mummy!” (The biggest pickle says this when we are in public toilets and he’s referring to the hand dryer that he’s scared to death of BUT he always says it when I’m sat on the public toilet and not when I’m washing my hands which in my mind would be a much more appropriate time to make his request! Ruddy kids!)

I still feel a little wobbly about the actual job I am doing and I wonder if I can remember how to do it. Plus the system has dramatically changed and I know I’m going to get frustrated with that. But I have an inner peace and good support at work and I know it will be fine.

What could possibly go wrong?

I thought the jolt I would experience was stepping through the office door. No, that was fun. The jolt was stepping in my front door when I got back. I had been gone all day. I didn’t know what had gone on, who needed what. It felt like trying to jump onto a very fast moving train. In truth it probably looked like any usual evening in the Hughes residence. But I didn’t know what to do?

I felt surplus – no one needed me

I felt guilty – I didn’t know what my children needed

I felt jealous – Someone else knew what they wanted

I felt trapped – I didn’t know how to make it right or at least workable.

I felt hungry – I didn’t know when I was going to eat my tea

I did what any self-respecting woman on a mission to be more fulfilled would do.

I planned my escape!!

I thought I’d get a new job and work 12 hours straight so I could avoid all of this. I thought I could change my childcare arrangements, I could quit my job and eat beans on toast for life.

Then, (a few days later)

I realised that I hadn’t given much thought to anyone else. So I asked and I kept asking.

I strongly but kindly said I wasn’t okay with some things. I set boundaries.

I offered possibilities. I was flexible.

We stated the obvious. We all need feeding.

We allocated jobs.

We renegotiated.

We said we would keep trying.

I enter Week 2 of work much happier.

So what is your Jolt? Are you living it right now? Or are you waiting and dreading and guessing what it will be?

Whatever it is and however you are feeling if you need help I know I can help you.

You don’t need to dread it. Just imagine how much easier it will be to have someone who understands walking along side you through it.

And if you’re living the jolt right now and can’t see a way out. There will be.

Whatever the situation you are in, if you can’t see the wood for the trees and want some help getting out or to find a new perspective get in touch with me at Contact@nicolahughes.co.uk and we can arrange a

FREE introductory Coaching Session for you.

When you have done that get on Facebook and like my page www.fb.com/nicolahughescoaching so you can keep up to date with my musings and information.

Lots of love to you

Nicola x

My Deepest Fear Is…

My Deepest Fear Revealed

My deepest fear is..

Are you someone that does things on time or leaves them to the last minute?

When you got homework as a child did you do it on the way home or on the way to class the following week?

Will you do an all-nighter before a deadline or are you tucked up in bed feeling satisfied and accomplished?

I get it done. I am a doer. It was done last week.

I frequently say, “There are no flies on me.”

I’m sure if we read some psychology reports we would discover the reason behind those of us that get things done now and those of us that leave it to the last minute. I’m sure we are both as equally messed up.

I have spent the last few weeks glued to my lap top (my new lap top by the way for my new business!) Any blog, any ideas get written up and time spent on them. I’m getting things in order, I’m researching, I am on it.

So why oh why then am I leaving one particular aspect to the last minute? Why am I putting it off and doing everything else first.

We all procrastinate right? I hate hoovering but when I do get the hoover out I’m always interested in what I am procrastinating or dreading doing more than the hoovering.

This is a bit different and I guess there’s an emotional edge to this I need to uncover. But before I tell you about me, what about you?

What is it you are not doing?

Are people telling you, you are good at something in particular but you keep putting it off or making excuses?

What is it you really want to do but aren’t? Maybe a new hobby, learning to run, starting a business.

It’s probably time to think about why you are putting it off and what the route cause is.

Have you read my first Blog – Do It Afraid. Great, read it again.

It’s time to sort ourselves out.

Stop limiting ourselves and get on doing the very thing we could be absolutely brilliant at if only we’d give ourselves half a chance.

When I was in my twenty somethings I spent 3 years in the USA training to be a Mime Artist under the two most gifted artists I have ever met. Their performances radiated through my being like nothing I’ve ever seen or probably will ever see again.

It was powerful.

When I started this particular blog I didn’t know what the answer was, I genuinely hoped that as I wrote to you honestly I would uncover something.

And there it is.

They were powerful.

Can I be that powerful?

I am reminded of this amazing quote that you might have heard if you’ve watched the film Coach Carter.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson.

I’ll tell you now what I’m meant to be doing. I’m meant to be choreographing a mime that I can perform to a group of ladies in a workshop I am running. I can run workshops standing on my head, I do it as part of my day job. But for some reason this FEAR has infiltrated into the workshop and as it stands I have a few exercises and nothing else. At the moment the workshop would be ok.

It needs to be brilliant.

I need to be brilliant

And you need to be brilliant.

It is in us we are holding it hostage because the potential we have in us overwhelms us.

Some of you are pftting me right now because you think you have no power.

Of course you do. Why on earth would you have no power? Prove your lack of power!

There is a lightbulb inside you waiting to be turned on.

Your job is to find the switch and turn it on.

How are you going to do that?

Email me at contact@nicolahughes.co.uk and claim your free life coaching session

Then keep connected with me at www.facebook.com/nicolahughescoaching and I’ll keep sharing my journey.

Lots of love to you as you figure it out.

Nicola x x

PS. The next day I sat down and wrote the workshop and mime in about an hour. I even practiced the mime. Sometimes we just need to acknowledge our stuff, give it a courtesy nod and then shift it out of the way. If I did it so can you!

Do It Afraid

Do It Afraid

Have you got a dream in your heart? Do you aspire to be more than you are or be doing more than you are? You see people doing exciting things and you’re green with envy. You wonder if you will ever be good enough, earn enough or be tough enough.

Me too!

I’ve always known there was more. More in me that was bursting to come out.

Unfortunately I have perfectionist tendencies so I don’t do things unless I can do it very well. So I’ve hesitated starting my business because it doesn’t look shiny and lovely like the way I dream it to be.

Then I came across ‘Do It Afraid’.

I was at a festival and one of the stall holders was selling a heart with Do it Afraid sewn on it.

It did something to me. Like grabbed my heart and gave it a twist. It was of those moments. It moved me. Moved me to action.

I walked away with tears falling out from behind my sunglasses. I wasn’t sure what it was at this point but I knew I had to do it and I was definitely afraid.

So, I’m doing it now. What you see now in July 2015 isn’t the fullness of my dreams.

You have to start somewhere.  So let’s start together. You might not know your ‘it’ in its entirety; even if you do it’s likely to change as you refine what you do.

But start.

You have awesome desires in your heart, you have a longing for more. To be really fulfilled, fully fulfilled you can’t ignore this. You have to start.

Keep following me and I’ll share my journey and unfold my grand plan. I’ll walk with you as you achieve your heart’s desire.

I hope my first blog has inspired you. What I really love is connecting with like minded women, if I could have a cuppa and a chat with everyone I would, especially if there was cake. So get in touch with me and tell me your IT. I’d love to hear from you.

If you need help finding you IT I’d love to coach you. Email me at contact@nicolahughes.co.uk to arrange your free coaching session

And then join the community of like minded women at: www.facebook.com/nicolahughescoaching

Love Nicola x

Ps. If fear is a biggy for you check out these great quotes http://theboldlife.com/2011/08/101-quotes-fear/